Do you spank
or unwillingly, parents tend to beat their children as a disciplining
measure. However, latest research confirms that spanking perpetuates
violence in children and lowers their self-esteem. Here are some
alternative strategies that can help parents to avoid spanking.
often beat and slap their children, quite oblivious of the fact that
spanking perpetuates violence in children. But latest scientific
research confirms that spanking teaches children to use aggression as
a means to achieve their ends. It has been observed that children who
have been spanked are more prone to low self-esteem, depression and
acceptance of low-paying jobs.
been observed that parents beat up their children only out of their
inability to do anything else. They regret slapping the child
but cannot think of any other positive disciplinary measure. According
to the International Network for Children and Families (INCAF),
parents can take recourse in many positive strategies for improving a
Here are some:
- Do not
spank, remain calm
If a parent loses control over his or her emotions, the child is
very likely to play with them. Therefore, silence is the buzzword.
Just leave the situation and calm down, as that will help you to
time off for yourself
Parents are more prone to use spanking when they havenít had any
time to themselves and they feel depleted and hurried. So, it is
important for parents to take some time off for themselves to
exercise, read, take a walk or pray.
kind but firm
Another frustrating situation where parents tend to spank is when
the child hasnít listened to repeated requests, especially if
the child is taking things lightly. But the best solution is to
bend down to your childís height, make eye contact, touch him
gently and tell him, in a short, kind but firm phrase. Do not
display your helplessness.
Giving your child a choice is an effective alternative to
spanking. ``Would you like to stop playing with your food or would
you like to leave the table?Ē If the child continues to play
with the food, ask him or her to leave. Allow the child to come
back only when he or she obeys.
Do not threaten your child with physical punishment. Explain your
stance logically. If you beat him after he breaks a neighbourís
window, you might stop him at that moment. But, he might hide such
mistakes from you later, in order to avoid getting beaten up.
Instead, ask the child to take responsibility for the broken widow
When children break agreements, parents tend to want to punish
them. But, allow the child to make amends. Give him or her enough
time and opportunity to carry out corrective measures and win your
Children who sass back at parents may provoke a parent to slap. In
this situation, it is best if you withdraw from the situation
immediately. Do not leave the room in anger or defeat. Calmly say,
"Iíll be in the next room when you want to talk more
children ahead of time
A childís temper tantrum can easily set a parent off. Children
frequently throw tantrums when they feel uninformed or powerless
in a situation. Instead of telling your child he has to leave his
friendís house in a momentís notice, tell him that you will be
leaving in five minutes. This allows the child to complete what he
was in the process of doing.